Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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