his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
