If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
