He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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