Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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