That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
