I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
