Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
