this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
