therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
