I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
