U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
