I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
