Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
