Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
