You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
