If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
there is glitter all over my balls
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
