if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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