to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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