I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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