Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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