ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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