BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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