He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
