areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Randomize
