youre lurking in front of me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize
