Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You're like the curious george of whores
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
