nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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