put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
