I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm like, not good at living.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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