also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
