Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
