Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
