Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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