I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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