Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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