just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
