But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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