I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
