wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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