Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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