This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
