I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
