I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
two words...techno handjob
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
