I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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