he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
