evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
