I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
