you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
