singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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